Waiting for a train

 

In late July 2020, the midst of the pandemic, a routine hepatology review at the liver cancer clinic revealed that things were not routine at all. The drug I had been having for 12 months, lenvatinib, had stopped working - or perhaps had never really worked. A secondary liver cancer tumour located in my abdominal cavity had been ever so slowly getting bigger over the past 12 months. At each 3-monthly review there hadn't been a significant change in size, just an amount that could be interpreted as due to a slightly different slice through it in the CT scan image.  Up until then there had been a focus on the several tumours in my lungs. They hadn't really got much bigger. But the radiologist and the hepatologist together detected a longer term trend in the abdominal cavity tumour. 

So I stopped the drug, increased my levels of energy (which had seemed quite while good on the drug but improved noticeably), lost the side effects of pain in my pelvic area, lower back, feet and hands. Whooppee! 

"About a year", the specialist said. Not because he knows exactly. They never really know and they know that. They just realise that people want some kind of number and the number they give you is based on their years of experience. Six good months, he said. Get out and do fun things. Enjoy life.

So I did. My partner and I created some camping trips to the Western Australian outback and the far south east coast. We'd do more but it's getting warmer and our camping months will have to be paused for now - or for good?

My son, lives in Malaysia and immediately worked out a trip to Perth, where I live, in the past, a 5.5 hour flight away, back in the day when there was no quarantine and direct flights were available. Not this time. Permits were needed from both governments and a 23 hour layover in Singapore, making the journey very long indeed. Then two sets of  hotel quarantine, two weeks in Perth, and another two weeks in Malaysia, on his return. He's a truly committed and loving son. As soon as he landed here he set about booking some accommodation for a week's mother and son road trip to start as soon as he was out of quarantine here. Western Australians are travelling a lot in the state since the national borders are closed to their overseas trips. The school holidays started about the middle of that week, so accommodation choice was somewhat limited. 

But we stayed in some beautiful and interesting places and had a marvellous time. Provided I reminded myself that he's 43 and doesn't need unsolicited driving tips! I showed him some of my favourite spots, places we'd been to when he was young, or places he might bring his family to in the future. Kangaroos on the beach. Birds everywhere. Bush seclusion. That sort of thing.

It's now over 3 months since "about a year" started and I still have no cancer symptoms and still have energy to do things. Maybe my year will be longer that that. 

People often ask how I'm feeling and I tell them I feel good. But from time to time it feels like I'm on a station platform, waiting for a train. There's no timetable. Perhaps the train will be much delayed. Sometimes I forget all about the train and wander off and do other things, like buying a 2021 diary. but I do know that one day the train is coming for me.